Friday, January 13, 2012

HE SPEAKS... 3 Ways to Get Your Man to Talk

Men like to talk. Whether they talk to you or not, is really just up to you.
Here are a few tips.
1. Listen

To get a man to talk to you, you must first learn how to listen.
 In order to listen there must be no words coming out of your mouth (I know ladies it’s hard, when he’s there and he looks like he might be listening we use every opportunity to fill his ears with whatever the hell comes out of our mouths).

Once you can control yourself long enough to hear what he might actually be saying move onto the next step…

2. Don’t ask a lot of questions.

 This is for two reasons… 1) you may confuse him and 2) Men find questions to be threatening (I think this is a control thing. Men don’t like answering to women because they are afraid to loose their non-existing man card).

Here is an example of how I get my hubby to tell me about his day…

Me: “How was your day?”
Him: “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
Me: “Ok”      *proceed to carry on with my business
---only moments pass----
Him: “I am just so frustrated….” And then the rambling begins (and I mean woman-style rambling, gossip included)
He speaks! Conversation achieved

How NOT to have the above conversation...

Me: “How was your day?”
Him: “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
Me: “What happened?”
Him: “Nothing, I don’t wanna talk about it!”
Me: “What’s wrong? Why are you getting loud?”
Him: “Because you keep asking me about it, and I don’t want to talk about it!”
Me: “You don’t have to be such a dick, what the hell did I do?”

There’s really no need to go on but 99%of the time this conversation ends with me (the woman) chasing the man around the house(in uncontrollable tears) continuing to try and talk about this now fight to figure out what the hell just happened and why he just “broke up” with me.

 Don’t ask questions… just refer back to #1 and listen. In some cases questions can be beneficial, move on to step 3 to learn more…

3. Ask questions for His benefit not yours.

When my hubby starts talking about work I really do try to keep up but in most cases I have no idea what the hell he is talking about (this and cars). I used a trick that I have mastered since I was little when I started trying to have conversations with my dad. When he starts talking about something he had to do on a job or in an attempt to fix the car, he gets very excited. So in order to add to his already big head I ask specific questions… like “What is that for?” or “What do you have to do to fix it?”, really just ask a bunch of random questions about what he’s talking about and you will get some answer that you will never remember.
This works really well because 1) it makes him feel like you’re really interested in what he’s talking about and 2) He (as a typical man) enjoys showing off his “knowledge”, which in short makes him even cockier than he already is. Of course you get the benefit of enjoying hearing him speak because it only happens on rare occasions between eating and scratching himself on the couch.

There we have it… the first steps to getting your man to speak

What we have learned
·         Our ears work better when our mouths aren’t moving
·         When he says he doesn’t want to talk about it, he really does he just wants to think it was his idea
·         Keep him talking, even if you have to endure the pain of hearing about the endless uses of a wrench

Try it out… let me know if it works.

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