Thursday, January 12, 2012

Top 5 Things I Hate about Having Kids

I love my kids, I really do, but when you have kids there are certain things that are not so enjoyable anymore. I have listed the top 5 things I hate about having kids so far

1.     Kid Clothes.
Baby clothes are so cute, almost addicting. I remember when I used to get bags of clothes from other people and I would sit around for hours looking at each little onesie, the itty bitty pairs of shorts and they were so cute and I would ooh and awe over each little piece. I would literally take a 10 minute detour around Wal-Mart just to avoid the little pink dresses in the baby section. 4 years later and I am completely sick of kid’s clothes. It is like a constant hell taking over my life. I have to go through them, I have to box them up, I have to get rid of them, and I have to re-organize them by size to make sure they still fit. And washing them is the absolute worst thing ever! I don’t even try to get the stains out anymore, I don’t fold them up to put them away neatly in the drawers and I must be in a damn good mood if I actually put them on hangers and put them in the closet. I HATE KIDS CLOTHES. If I didn’t live in a world full of sickos I swear my girls would be running around naked.

2.     Taking Showers.
A normal person, I assume, takes a shower at least every day if not every other day. Well this mama is dirty. I don’t know why it is such a hard thing for me to do, I mean I take 5 minute showers, but it seems like every time I take a shower Something Happens. I get in the shower and it doesn’t matter what time of day it is, somebody screams or needs something. I remember being able to take constant showers when I had only one kid but when I had two it was like no more relaxing showers for you. I’ve gotten to the point now where I only shower if I plan on going somewhere, it sounds gross but it’s not like I do much to get dirty. And putting on make-up afterwards is a luxury because as soon as my girls notice what I’m doing they want eye shadow on this, lip stick on that; my kids usually have more make-up on than I do.

3.     Going Places.
I had a friend watch the girls the other day and he told me that it took him triple the time to go to McDonalds with the kids and that he has a newfound respect for parents. I don’t know what it is about leaving the house when you have kids that make it so difficult. You would think they would be excited that mommy actually wants to take them out in public. When I get ready to go anywhere it usually goes something like this… Get dressed, find clothes for the girls which takes forever because I can’t find anything in their drawers (my fault) without stains (my fault again), get them dressed, get my crap (purse, list, bag full of kids shit, etc.) let the dogs out and then for about 10 minutes I run through the house screaming and looking like a psycho because I can’t find that damn shoe that should be in the shoe box, in the closet where they go, WTF. When it’s all said and done I’m usually crying somewhere in a corner while my kids are running around shoeless and in some cases already in the process of undressing themselves. My hubby wonders why I never take them anywhere.

4.     My Social Life, or lack thereof
I started this blog so I could talk about my kids. Enough Said.

5.     Having Sex
My hubby and I started off with an agreement that we were going to be “cuddle buddies”. I just got out of a relationship and he was a party boy so it worked for us. After having the first one we were still going semi-strong in the sex department, evidence >Bailey. After her it was over. I got put on Implanon which is a little stick that goes in my arm and pumps me full of crap that in short tells my body that I just don’t want to have sex anymore, perfect birth control really. And of course there are the kids which is also another reason and the fact that sex feels like work, I have enough work to do already, I’m tired, I feel fat, I am not in the mood. Thank God he has a smart phone.

What do you hate about having kids?

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